“Chairman, That is Pronk-rageous”
Travis Hafner has a fantastic nickname. It’s not one of those silly abbreviation nicknames. No, no T-Haf here. No sir, Travis Hafner is Pronk. In the minors, Hafner had two nicknames: Project and Donkey. Project Donkey already being a successful reality show on Bravo, the two names were compounded to the sublime Pronk. I find […]
Travis Hafner has a fantastic nickname. It’s not one of those silly abbreviation nicknames. No, no T-Haf here. No sir, Travis Hafner is Pronk. In the minors, Hafner had two nicknames: Project and Donkey. Project Donkey already being a successful reality show on Bravo, the two names were compounded to the sublime Pronk. I find Pronk to be an especially entertaining nickname because it category of seems same a filthy verb. Pronking meet sounds same something one wouldn’t do in polite society.
To my delight, the always outrageous Onion News Network has examined the versatility of the word Pronk. It’s hilariously Pronk-surd.
Tags: Cleveland Indians, The Onion, Travis Hafner
Streakin’ Ain’t Easy [Lady On The Move DUAN]
Unless, of course, you are Tiffany May, who reached mid-level internet notoriety thanks to her patriotic half-streak during the USA v. Honduras qualifying match terminal March. May has parlayed her spirited underwear panache into a Playboy pictorial, where she module bravely hollow the rest of her clothes and, unlike her terminal attempt, not be placed under arrest.
Congratulations to her for finding a resourceful artefact to counterbalance her suite costs and commendation to soccer for gaining such an enthusiastic supporter.
Streaker to Pose For Playboy [Sports By Brooks]
Soccer Streaker Poses Nude For Playboy [AOL Fanhouse]
The U-23’s Streaker Does Playboy [The Offside Rules] (Video somewhat NSFW)
Soccer Streaker Still Missing The Point [With Leather]
Even Joe Posnanski Gets Yelled At [Dark Side Of The Locker Room]
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you intend to check games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful experience with a half-naked, exhausted athlete. Sometimes they’ll be openly dismissive, sometimes they’ll yell, and sometimes, well, they’ll fart in your face. Most of these stories never end up in the newspaper the next day. So now, Deadspin proudly presents “The Dark Side of the Locker Room” where underway and former sports writers can share some of their most perturbing interactions. If you’ve got your own story to share, please send it along to ajd@deadspin.com.
Today’s story comes from venerable Kansas City Star sports editorialist Joe Posnanski, who shares this tale of turbulence with former Royals’ relief pitcher Jeff Montgomery. Posnanski’s online musings can be found here.
—-—-—-—-—-—-—-
Man, I’ve been on the Stygian side of the compartment room a few times. And I’m supposedly one of the nice guys. Here’s one, had to be same 10 or 11 eld ago, and I wrote a article ripping Jeff Montgomery, the old Royals relief pitcher. I don’t recall all the details, but Jeff had been quoted ripping the manager, and he was also pitching lousy, and those two didn’t seem to blend too substantially in my mind. So I ripped him pretty good. I couldn’t tell you now if it was “fair.” Maybe it wasn’t. It was a daylong time ago. It probably was fair.
I’d had a pretty decorous relationship with Jeff. I respected him and all that and I knew he was a combative son of a gun, so I thought he might have something to say the next day. Of course, I had to be there to take it. That’s part of the deal. So I start dynamical to the stadium, and I turn on the radio, and they’re interviewing Jeff, and he’s meet ripping me. So I have a pretty beatific intent what was coming.
I go to the compartment room to find him. He’s not around. I move by his compartment for a while, and a few guys are telling me, “Man, Jeff’s feat to blackball you,” and I’m smiling and nodding, “Yep, he’s feat to blackball me,” same a rank jackass.
I’m not much beatific in those sorts of settings. But the employ is the job.
Finally, Jeff shows up and he gets right up in my face, and he says, “I’ve been hunting for you.” And I say, “Yeah, Jeff, I’ve heard. That’s ground I’m here.”
Then he grabs the Royals PR guy, and says, “Follow me.” And we go back to the stairwell that was behind the clubhouse. It’s meet us three now, and Jeff starts patch a towel around his hand, same he’s feat to hit me with it. And then, all of a sudden, he jumps forward, raises his fist, and looks same he’s about to hit me, only he stops and he shouts, “I should KILL you, man.”
And then he starts screaming. I don’t undergo how daylong we were in there, but it felt same quite a daylong time. He’s screaming, and he’s pacing around, and every so often he gets close to me and raises his hand same he’s feat to hit me, and then starts pacing around again.
Now, I’m not feat to tell you I’m the bravest guy around, because I’m not. I’m a bald, chubby-to-fat sportswriter. At first, I had that, “Damn, I’m feat to have a fight with Jeff Montgomery and he’s feat to pound on me same Sonny pounded Carlo,” feeling in my stomach. But after a pair of minutes, I realize he really isn’t feat to hit me, there isn’t feat to be a one-sided fight, and then it’s same I have one of those out of body experiences. Suddenly it’s same I’m hunting downbound on the scene, and I’m thinking, “WOW, this guy is mad. Look at him. He’s really, really mad. He’s same disturbed mad. Look at this guy, pacing around, stomping around, that towel enwrapped around his hand, he’s really mad. I mean, this guy is mad.”
And then, it becomes sort of a mini-struggle not to laugh. Well, I don’t undergo that I was every close to laughing, but he WAS mad.
My favorite part was when the thing ended, and Jeff says, “Do we understand each other?” and he stomps off. The PR guy turned to me and in a shaken vocalise whispers: “I meet poverty to thank you for allowing me to be a part of that.”
Now, as mentioned before, I had a aggregation of respect for Jeff. And I still do. When the screaming ended, I went outside and there were same five TV cameras around and reporters and they were all like, “What happened?” I walked by, and then went over to Jeff. And he said: “That was between me and Joe, Negro to man, and I’m not feat to talk about it,” which I thought was cool. At small he called me a man.
A pair of months later, he retired. And I wrote a pretty positive retirement column: he merited that. I wrote a lowercase bit about the incident and talked about how Jeff was really beatific pitcher who succeeded because he was a battler. He never backed down. He seemed to appreciate that.
A few eld later, I ended up competing in the Royals fantasy camp, which Jeff happened to run. He was feat around the room asking people which number they wanted. He turned to me and said something like, “Hey, Posnanski, what number does Mr. Sportswriter want?”
I said, “What number did you wear, Jeff?”
He said: “Twenty-one.”
I said: “Yep. That’s the one I want. You undergo you’re my hero.” Nobody around the room got it, but Jeff smiled, and nodded, and we understood each other.
** It’s a beatific thing, hunting back, that Paul O’Neill had not been in the fantasy camp seven eld earlier.
Ten Years Since Wood’s Amazing Game [Kerry Wood]
We fuck reminders of meet how old we really are. Newsweek conversant us that it has been 10 eld since “Seinfeld” went off the hair air, which is meet jaw-dropping, when you think about it. But that’s nothing same Friends Of The Program’s revelation: It has been 10 eld since Kerry Wood’s 20-strikeout game against the Astros.
We were already out of college by then — as we said, we’re quite old — but we, same everybody within shouting indifference of a television, sat rapt patch watching perhaps the large pitching performance ever. We can’t envisage anyone ever rising on that. Twenty strikeouts? One (questionable) hit? No walks? Come on.
Even as a Cardinals fan, we find it a shame what happened to Wood; at this time, after this game, he seemed same Roger Clemens reborn, ornery, inflamed, terrifying. If the Cubs ever do attain a World Series, it would seem fitting that Wood might be the guy to close out and send them there. Like that module ever happen of course.
Here’s the highlight video, rank with old-school ESPN graphics:
A Soccer Goal Like Few Others [Goalie Goal]
Because Hirshey isn’t filing today, it’s up to us to provide your regular pane of soccer bidness. Here’s a content a low-level British soccer league.
We think, after a shot same that, you don’t intend to strut as if you meet didn’t something over which you had total control. If you can classify that as “strutting.”
Steve Goodwin Strikes 80-Yard Goal [FanIQ]
Media Approval Ratings: Norman Chad [Media Approval Ratings]
First off, don’t intend our own Rick Chandler started on poker analyst and “comedy” editorialist Norman Chad. You really don’t poverty to know.
Actually, we don’t mind Chad that much, though he should become up with more original ideas for his columns. (Not that ours was inherently original either.) Chad’s big schtick is to riff on his failed marriages, which is probably funnier if you’re old enough to have been mated a few times and, you know, don’t much care anymore.
But poker fans undergo Chad better than we do, not that they’re always dead-on. Alas.
So: Do you same the Norman Chad? Do you not same the Norman Chad? Let’s hear it.
Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry Jumps Shark, Lands In Madness [It All Ends]
Sometime in the not-so-distant future, when all the oil and electricity is gone, orbicular hot takes a firm hold and mankind is mitt to fend for itself in a feral state, I would expect scenes such as the following to occur with frequency. But not yet. For the fuck of God, not yet. As you might have read, on Saturday a blackamoor plowed into a assemble of Red Sox fans with her car, ending one, reportedly because she was being taunted for being a Yankees’ fan.
According to authorities, Ivonne Hernandez had gotten into a fight with another blackamoor in the parking aggregation of a Nashua, N.H. bar. As she was leaving, the other blackamoor and the assemble she was with — all Red Sox fans — noticed that Hernandez had a Yankees sticker on her car. They began taunting her, outcry “Yankees suck!,” prompting Hernandez to turn her 1997 Dodge Intrepid toward the group. She accelerated and slammed into a 29-year-old man, Matthew Beaudoin, ending him.
“I poverty her to rot in a cold slammer cell for the rest of her chronicle and remember every period the face that hit her windshield,” Faith Beaudoin, the victim’s sister, said in a phone interview. “I poverty her to remember that she took a wonderful, kind-hearted gentleman. She has children of her own. How could she poverty to harm another’s child?”
Hernandez, a 43-year-old mother from Nashua, was arrested at the scene. Amazingly, alcohol seems to have been involved. And here’s the mug shot you’ve all been inactivity for. Form an orderly line, fellers.
Here’s a tribute to the New Red Sox fan.
Sox-Yankee Rivalry Cited In N.H. Fatality [Boston Globe]
Yankees Fans Hate Red Sox Fans [Larry Brown Sports]
Kansas City Chiefs intend the draft, Redskins second
NFL Football at its best. NFL Football at its craziest. Chiefs Pete Prisco of CBS Sports.com found KC to be a big succeeder in the 2008 NFL draft. The Chiefs’ plan started with antitank tackle spaceman Dorsey and offensive tackle Branden Albert in the first round and they continuing right through the draft. Even sixth-round pick Kevin Robinson, […]
NFL Football at its best. NFL Football at its craziest.
Chiefs
Pete Prisco of CBS Sports.com found KC to be a big succeeder in the 2008 NFL draft.
The Chiefs’ plan started with antitank tackle spaceman Dorsey and offensive tackle Branden Albert in the first round and they continuing right through the draft. Even sixth-round pick Kevin Robinson, a return Negro from Utah State, could be an unmediated contributor.
From start to finish, the Chiefs cashed in big. That’s ground they intend the only premium evaluate in this report card.
Kansas City Chiefs
Best pick: They saw Dorsey fall to them with the fifth pick. He was the top player on half the boards in the league.
Questionable move: I same Texas running back Jamaal Charles, but do the Chiefs really need to be using a third-round pick on a back with Larry President on the roster?
Second-day gem: Sixth-round pick Barry Richardson, a tackle out of Clemson, is massive (6-7, 338) and was once thoughtful a first-day possibility.
Overall grade: A+. They had a aggregation of picks and used them well. Good thing, too. They need a aggregation of help.
Redskins
Charles Robinson of character Sports hierarchal the plan for the NFC.
Washington came out a winner.
Washington Redskins
Picks: WR Devin Thomas, TE Fred Davis, WR Malcolm Kelly, OL Chad Rinehart, DB Justin Tryon, P Durant Brooks, DB Kareem Moore, QB revolver Brennan, DL Rob Jackson, DB Chris Horton
Positives: Thomas, Davis, Kelly, Brooks
Negative: Defensive end not addressed until the seventh round.
Bottom line:A. Ten overall picks with lots of potential from top to bottom. The two wideouts slipped a lowercase and could all end up providing enthusiastic value. Thomas and buffoon could amend into quality big targets, and an AFC scout told Yahoo! Sports in February that solon was the best overall talent at tight end in this draft. The punter need was addressed with the best one the college game had to offer in Brooks. Brennan is an provocative pick New in the sixth round. A aggregation of potential starters in this draft.
source
Too bad there is no trophy for the plan victory.
Even worsened is the fact that no one really knows what module happen with all these picks for a pair of years.
NFL Football special comment It feels beatific if your team is a plan winner, but it feels better if they intend in the regular season.
Be sure to check out my consort blog at NBA Obsessed.
As always, any NFL Football related comments are welcome.
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Tags: 2008-nfl-draft, barry-richardson, branden-albert, chad-rinehart, chris-horton, colt-brennan, devin-thomas, durant-brooks, football, fred-davis, glenn-dorsey, jamaal-charles, justin-tryon, Kansas City Chiefs, kareem-moore, kevin-robinson, nfl, rob-jackson, utah-state, Washington Redskins
Supporting Kenechi Udeze through bone marrow. …
Supporting Kenechi Udeze through bone marrow. [AOL Fanhouse.
NBA Playoffs: A Tuesday Night Viewer’s Guide [NBA Playoffs]
Ah, sweet Tuesday…still 20 percent better than Monday. Basketbawful is here to help you celebrate that fact and disentagle all those thoughts you thought you had about tonight’s Cavs-Celtics game.
Cleveland versus Boston: Game 1
LeBron James. The King shut up his critics — which consisted mostly of DeShawn Stevenson and the rest of the Wizards — by prevention his first-round foes under his royal boot. The Wiz did their best to rough him up and beat him down, but he still averaged a near triple-double (29.8 PPG, 9.5 RPG, 7.7 APG). Can LeBron pull the sword from the stone against Boston? (Yeah, probably.)
The Boston defense. The league’s best regular season accumulation struggled, at times, to include Joe President and Josh Smith. Now they have to try and include LeBron. Yeah. Good phenomenon with that, guys. My suggestion would be stop everybody but LeBron. Even if he goes off for 50, the Celtics would still win, like, 98-57.
The LeBronnaires. Look, no man, no two men, no army of men or the undead can stop LeBron James. The question is…who else is feat to step up for the Cavs? Zydrunas Ilgauskas? sap Szczerbiak? Delonte West? Boobie? It’s gotta be one of those guys or nobody. My best guess? Nobody. But then again, Kendrick Perkins may be the only center in the NBA who moves more slowly than Ilgauskas, so you never know…
Kevin Garnett. He’s filling up with so much kinetic energy that he has officially become the first player since Alonzo Mourning in 2006 that I think might actually explode during a game. It’s called spontaneous human combustion, people, and it happens, okay? That’s science fact. Personally, I hope KG survives his own personal Chernobyl. Barring that, I can only hope one of the Boston fans saves me a piece.
Cockiness. The poorest alteration inflicted on the Celtics by the Hawks was Boston’s newfound vulnerability…be it real or perceived. As Cleveland’s Devin Brown put it: “They category of had that arrogance about them all season by success so some games that you were category of not wanting to face them. But after seeing what we saw, I think we’re ready to go.” Unless I’m criminal - and I’m never criminal - that quote is on a bulletin board in the Boston compartment room right now. Right next to a post-it note asking the question “Now who’s Devin Brown again?”
Paul Pierce versus LeBron. With all due respect to DeShawn Stevenson, the King’s first-round rival didn’t really stand much of a chance. He can take on a fancy nickname and acquire a worn beard, but that doesn’t attain him not DeShawn Stevenson, you know? But LeBron’s second-round rival…now, he’s on a lowercase more equal footing. What? You didn’t undergo the Pierce and saint were rivals? Oh hells to the yes. There’s some serious history there. Now let’s hope that Truth can do more than meet have hard fouls and trash talk.
Lookin’ over the shoulder. Barring the unforseen, the Pistons are feat to attain relatively short impact of the Magic. (How’s that for a reverse stat curse?) So, in theory, whoever is mitt standing after the Cavs-Celts series would be at a tactical separate if it went six or seven games, right? Both teams are feat to poverty to finish this soon. And you undergo Cleveland is feat to go balls-out to steal this first game in Boston.
Anderson Varejao. What can I say? Stuff like this cracks me up. I think it’s the hair.
Tags: history of football, hockey equipment, sports, tennis rules, free sports clipart, rugby ball, tennis history, hockey dboard